


and I break down as you walk away

by LaryssaD17



Series: Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted if the Father of Understanding Guides Us [26]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Abstergo Industries, Angst, Brotherhood, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Modern Assassins, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaryssaD17/pseuds/LaryssaD17
Summary: "I told you that we shouldn’t meet again”.“And yet you came”.Desmond tries to convince you to give up the mission, the Brotherhood...everything, but you try to convince yourself that not doing it is the only way to keep him safe.
Relationships: Desmond Miles/Reader
Series: Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted if the Father of Understanding Guides Us [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685434
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	and I break down as you walk away

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language, so this may have errors.

> _My whole life waiting for the right time_  
>  _To tell you how I feel_  
>  _Know I try to tell you that I need you._
> 
> _\- "Stay" by Hurts._

“I told you that we shouldn’t meet again”, is the first thing you say once you step a foot on the rooftop.

He is giving you his back, with a hood over his head, but you still know is him.

“And yet you came”, he says, while he turns around. His warm brown eyes land in you and your heart skips a beat.

He is right, you still came, even when you told him that he shouldn’t be sending you coded messages anymore, that you shouldn’t see each other because then both of your lives will be in danger – no, scratch that since both your lives were already in danger.

“If I came is because I think that what you have to tell me is important”, you say, trying to convince him and yourself that that was the reason, but your nervous heart and paranoid mind told you differently.

He chuckles, looking at the floor, smiling like he is mocking you as he knows for sure that your words were lies and you weren’t here just because he was going to tell you something related to the Assassins or Abstergo. Like he somehow knew that you were mainly there, in front of him, because you needed to see him. One last time. 

“Whatever you say, sweetheart”, he says, and when he looks at you, he reminds you of the child you grew up with on the Farm. The rebellious one that wanted to explore the world, run away from his father’s claws like an eagle that wanted to fly for the first time and feel liberty hit him in the face like the wind does.

Unconsciously, you hide your fists in the pockets of your black jacket, the one that had your Abstergo ID in one pocket. It was a thing you did when you were nervous, and he knew it because he has been with you since you were little birds.

“I don’t have time to waste, what was what you wanted to tell me?”, you swallow, maintaining the expressionless face you have since you entered the rooftop.

Without a word, Desmond’s hand disappears into one of his pockets and reappears into your sight again holding a USB stick.

“I have the thing you asked Rebecca for. She said that with it you can get the information you want from them and then put a virus to the server”, he explains, looking at the stick in his hand.

Your eyes travel from the stick to him a few times, until your eyes land on him permanently. You swallow again and your heart skips another bit.

Those two sentences sounded very simple, but it wasn’t. It could be your end and he knew it.

“I told you I have everything in control”, you say, and when his eyes land on you, he is annoyed.

“Your plan is dangerous, they can find you and you can die”, he sounds serious, very unlike him, but you knew that tone since it has been the one, he always uses when he is anxious about something.

“I know and I accepted that possibility when your father gave me the mission”.

The looks he gives you makes you want to run away, get out of the place because you can’t bear it. He is looking at you like he will suffer by your death like you are important to him in more than one way and that breaks you a little inside. Just a little, not enough to make you change your face.

“Why are you doing this?”, his question sounds out of topic. But you know is not.

“Is my job”.

“Is not”, holding his gaze is getting painful. “You grew up as an Assassin but that doesn’t mean you have to die like one. We still can go, run away, have a new life”.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips while you touch your forehead.

“We had this conversation, Desmond and it didn’t end up well”, he isn’t looking at you when your eyes land on his again.

It didn’t end well because your mission as an Abstergo infiltrate was first that anything else, even him. He knows it, but he doesn’t want to accept it.

“I just want you to understand that I love you and I don’t want to lose you like this”, you feel something similar to a stab in your heart with those words. That solemn sentence was almost enough to make you lose it, but you didn’t. Not even when his tone was sad and barely a whisper.

Your eyes land on the floor and you try to calm yourself with silence, but his feet approaching and then his smell invading your nostrils, make you understand that you have to be brave if you want him to give you the USB and get the hell out of there.

“Please, reconsider this”, he says, and it sounds like an order but is a plea. He is not your superior and even if he has a bad relationship with his father, he is still the closest person in the Brotherhood to take his place when the time comes.

And you hope it does, even if you aren’t going to be there to see it.

Slowly, you raise your head, until your eyes meet his and you are fighting the urge to give up everything for him. The Assassins, the Brotherhood, the mission, the danger, the façade…leave everything for him.

But before you can do that, you act.

It happens in a few seconds. You were always faster than him and the fight you had with him in those next seconds was the proof. He defended himself decently, and you ended up hurting a little and with a scratch of his blade in your left cheek, but you were the winner after you stab him with his own hidden blade.

“If everything goes well, I hope you can forgive me”, you say, looking down at him, USB stick in your hand. “This is the only way we can run away and have the life we always wanted, Desmond”, you started to walk backward when he tried to hold your ankle.

Your vision was starting to blur with each step you took.

“I love you too”, at those words, he looks at you and a few tears escaped your eyes.

Before you could regret everything, you turn around and run to the door.

You run away from the rooftop holding the USB stick like your life depend on it while tears run down your face and your heart broke with each step you took.

This didn’t have pardon and you knew it.

But it was for him.

For this war to end.

> _We say goodbye in the pouring rain_  
>  _And I break down as you walk away._  
>  _Stay, stay._
> 
> _\- "Stay" by Hurts._


End file.
